Coping Methods

Coping with a Heartbreak

When coping with heartbreak, there are many methods a teenager can use— healthy and unhealthy. Healthy coping methods are “positive skills” in which one uses to help one when facing stress and emotional conflicts. Unhealthy coping methods are methods that temporarily help one cope; however, will also cause negative effects in the future.

Healthy Coping Methods vs. Unhealthy Coping Methods

Release your emotions.

Simply sharing your feelings is one healthy way to cope.

Unlike girls, boys may feel like it isn’t okay to cry when dealing with such situations. There are two ways you can share your feelings: through speech, for example, talking to a loved one; or through writing, as in a journal or diary. These are both ways to release your emotions from your mind instead of keeping them inside. It is normal for you to express your feelings to your loved ones during a breakup, so don't be afraid to do so. It is important to surround one’s self with loved ones and other individuals who make one happy, as these people will be one’s support system when going through this time.

Exercise

Exercising is another way to cope. Many individuals turn to exercising as a way to lower the stress of heartbreak and as a distraction from their overwhelming feelings. One can go to the gym or go for a run, but one should also remember to take breaks and not over-exercise oneself.

Continue to do the things you love.
Keep yourself busy, don't change any of your normal habits.

When going through a heartbreak, continue to do things you love. Doing the things you love and making yourself happy can help with the process of healing from heartbreak. Such things include, but are not limited to, continuing to be around your loved ones, going to the beach, shopping, seeing a movie, or having a nice meal with family and friends.

Rush into another relationship.

After a breakup, don't rush into a new relationship or cling to your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. By clinging to your former lover, you may gain feelings of hope that the relationship will somehow happen again. This is unhealthy for a teenager going through a heartbreak because doing so will not benefit the process of recovery. Rather than wanting to move on, these feelings of hope will keep you clinging to the relationship, which may make it difficult for you to get over the breakup.

Turn to alcohol and drugs.

It is understandable that cutting, drinking alcohol, or taking drugs are ways many believe will "make them happy again," however, choosing these methods are also harming to the individual. Many turn to these coping methods because these acts make the emotional pain of heartbreak go away, when in reality, the pain from heartbreak “is only temporary.”

Smoke and fight.

Other unhealthy ways to cope with heartbreak are smoking, fighting, and violence. These actions are unhealthy because the outcome of these methods may be damaging— smoking can lead to other health issues, while fighting and violence may do much more damage to one physically than emotionally.

These are all just the many examples you may use to cope with heartbreak. When deciding what method to choose, it is important to always choose the method that you feel is both healthy and highly effective for yourself. By doing this, it will help in recovering from the heartbreak in a healthy manner.

References:

Dealing with a breakup: 7 healthy ways to cope with post-split stress. (2013). HuffPost. Retrieved from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/05/dealing-with-a-breakup-7-tips_n_3389381.html
Lyness, D. (2010). Getting over a break-up. Teens Health from Nemours. Retrieved from http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/relationships/broken_heart.html
Mibu-Briou, Arika [Marriage & Family Therapist, Mauli Ola Care]. (2013, October 27). Personal interview.
Tartakovsky, M. (2012). Help on healing from heartbreak. Psych Central. Retrieved from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/11/28/help-on-healing-from-heartbreak/