I like you so much it hurts

People live for different purposes. People spend their whole lives to get a higher education, to get a well paying job, or to accomplish a life long goal... But in the mist of it all behind the back of my mind, the crevasses of my soul, I crave to give myself whole heartedly to a love I could never fathom.

The reality is, that I have to get exceptional grades at school, I have to find a job that pays well, I have my own dreams. But at the same time I just want to drop everything and love you and everything you are. You make me want to reach for the stars although I'm here on Earth because you think gravity was made to tie down man. You make the hands that I deem worthy capable of loving. You help me remember that stomachs were meant to keep butterflies.

They say the young can't love but they forget the first time someone held their hand. You are what I want. You're what mere mortals dream about when they dream of love and yet I have the opportunity of having you in front of me to hold.

Because of timing and the reality of it all, I can't have you at this very moment. Until then, in the middle of the night when my mind stirs and the only thing in sight is the blank canvas of my ceiling I'll pretend that you are near and that I can feel your breath as you kiss my hands good night. Until then I will create a scenario for every moment we might or might not have together.

You will always be apart of me, and I will like you begrudgingly because I can't love you just yet.