Unrequited Love

"Cause I can't make you love me if you don't," once again, Adele got it right. I developed a crush on this guy in the tenth grade. He was in one of my classes and I just grew fond of him. I was the only girl in class and I had no problem interacting with the others though I'd always get nervous and quiet around him. I never did get the chance to confess personally because his best friend already told him about it and everything just got more awkward. Later on I found out he had feelings for someone so I just kept my feelings sealed. I told my friends I didn't like him anymore. But deep inside I still do.

In junior year, we sat right across each other in class and the whole semester I avoided any eye contact. Because I knew if I did, I would lose the wall I built and would fall for him again. There were lots of times I told people I'm done. That I couldn't wait anymore. But I would always search for him in the crowds. I'd still get nervous and my heart would beat fast when he's there. No one really knew because I chose not to talk about it.

Now we're seniors and I decided I had to do something about it. I didn't want to regret not doing anything just because I was afraid of being hurt or just because I'm too shy. I was pretty determined to ask him to prom. I mean in just 3 months, we're already graduating so i wanted to take the chance to do something for once. I mean what's the worst thing that could happen right? I debated whether to ask him straight or to do something special. I ended up just asking his best friend- my friend to help me talk to him. As usual things didn't go as plan, but I was like whatever I'm just going to ask. I waved and said hi and so did he. I stuttered and i asked if he wanted to go to prom with me and he kinda just stared for a few seconds. Then he finally had the guts to lie to me. He said he wasn't sure if he's going so he didn't really want to say yes. I honestly didn't expect his answer. I prepared myself for a no or a yes. And not this kind of answer. I blanked out for a sec I didn't know what to say so I told him that I just wanted to ask anyway. I mean what am I supposed to do or say after right? When I left, everyone stared at me probably expecting as much as I did. To be honest, I was okay but then my friend went back to him and asked him about it and found out the guy was planning on taking someone else. They hid it from me however I found out after. What hurts the most isn't the fact that he refused, it's him lying about it when he could've at least tell me the truth. I was frustrated, and disappointed. But you can't make people feel whatever you want them to feel for the sake of your happiness. Do I regret asking him? Honestly no. I don't regret having feelings for him for the past three years. But I do think it's time to stop. He knew what I felt, I did something about it, and now I am done.